In Remembrance of International Women’s Day

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Letter To Teen-self

Dear ‘Me’.

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe

The later half of the 20th century until even as recently as a couple of years ago, will be a world in which woman like yourself, who know what they want out of life and aren’t afraid to go after it, are seen as bitches, overbearing loudmouths or lesbians.

The truth is, weak minded individuals will always despise those stronger than themselves.

Don’t let them tell you that your dreams aren’t realistic or that they aren’t important.  Especially ignore what your older brother says about how becoming a writer will only end in obscurity and starvation.  Believe when I say, chasing dreams is not what eventually makes you feel obscure or leaves you destitute — ignoring your inner self and cowering down before the fears and socially acceptable reality of others is.  

Trust your inner self – she’s wiser than you or anyone else gives her credit for.

I would tell you not to get married to that cute guy you met in college, but then we wouldn’t have had our two wonderful sons, so I’ll just say this – the failure of your marriage was because you were both stuck in other people’s expectations of what those lives should look like.  Maybe if you had moved to another state or ignored all the well meaning family advise, you might have been able to work through your issues.  

I doubt it. The truth is,  neither of you were living the lives you were meant to live.

At least not then.

In the years following the divorce, you’ll find yourself facing some very challenging choices, and some of the decisions you make you’ll wish you hadn’t. Especially where your children are concerned. My advise – put them first above all else. The time you have with them before they go out to face the world on their own, will be one of the most important seasons of your life. Invest in it by making their lives the number one priority of yours.  

Despite your being a strong-willed individual, you’ll still find yourself, more often than you would want, living out other people’s desires and expectation. But don’t despair, one day all those experiences will eventually become some of the background for your novels.  

Along the way you’ll meet some great people and develop friendships that may last a week, a year or a lifetime. But no mater how brief or how long they might  be, they will all add value to your life and believe me when I say, you’ll add value to theirs as well.

You’ll also discover that God is not who your parents or the religious leaders of the day say She is and that all the religious bullshit you were force-fed, is just that, bullshit.

So don’t be afraid to question everything – I mean everything. Only the religious are afraid of the truth and will go to any length to hide it, even making up bogus crap about end time judgments and religious acts of repentance and  acceptance. Take a deep breathe and know that one day you will finally come to the conclusion that God is either the all forgiving, all loving, all-encompassing Father Jesus said They are or They aren’t.

Spoiler Alert! You eventually come to believe They are, and decided to throw off all the shackles of religious dogma, embracing a Universal salvation that is all-inclusive, regardless of what mankind believes or doesn’t believe. In other words, you begin to believe in a loving Father who refuses to allow anyone to perish – despite  all the religious insistence to the contrary.

One last thing – just as the Phoenix rises out of the ashes of death to once again become the beautiful bird it was always meant to be, you too will discover how to rise out of the tragedies and disappoints of life to discover that dreams never really die and that at long last you have found the courage to do the very thing you always wanted to do – live life with courage, write what your passionate about and love others extravagantly. 

 Sharing the journey,



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