Dirty Little Secrets
Where oh where did they go? I’ve looked under the bed, the pile of clean laundry [or is it dirty] and through the coat closet down the hall. When I couldn’t find them there, I marched into the office and rummaged around my desk, in my desk and finally beneath it – nothing.
With measurable levels of futility now rising, I headed to the garage where I spent an hour poking through layer upon layer of Christmas boxes, family mementos, future garage sale junk and neatly stacked matter – nada. Then, as a safety precaution I decided I’d be remiss if I didn’t consider the tool shed as a viable possibility, so after slipping my perpetually cold, woolen clad feet into a pair of 1964 Birkenstocks, I threw on my North Face – fleece lined jacket – and trudged through three inches of new snow, around two frozen hydrangea bushes and over a dead partridge trapped within the branches of my recently fallen pear tree.
Yet after carefully burrowing through a vast assortment of gardening tools, fertilizers and the latest Ed Hume flower packets, I was forced to come to the heart wrenching conclusion that I’d lost one of my ‘dirty little secrets’. I don’t know how nor do I remember where, but lost it was and at that juncture of my life it was of the utmost importance that it be found and administered the death blow it truly deserved.
Now you ask, “What could possibly be so important that she would be willing to risk life and limb to find something that obviously didn’t want to be found? Wouldn’t she be better off letting it remain hidden and therefore void of its power to wound or manipulate her current way of life?” But then both questions pre-suppose that something hidden is therefore also dormant, and what is dormant has no power to affect our current mode of apparatus.
But what if our ‘dirty little secrets’ are like the computer Trojan’s or Virus’s that attach themselves to our ‘browser’s’ and burrow into the very registry of our beings with the sole intent to “Destroy from within”. By the time they’re finished with us, our hard drives are decimated, whatever projects we were working on are useless and we’ve been left feeling violated in a way that is impossible to fully comprehend.
So the answer to both questions is a resounding “NO!” Not now, not ever. The longer we allow our ‘dirty little secrets’ to remain in hiding, the more damage they are capable of doing. It won’t matter that we’ve become adept at managing the fall out, or that we’re continually renewing our green cards in order to keep living in the land of denial. As long as our ‘dirty little secrets’ remain hidden and unchallenged, they’ll have all the power they need to manipulate us like the ‘Dos’ and ‘Command Prompts’ in our hard drives; manipulating everything we say and do whether we know it or not.
From the laptop of an uncensored dreamer